Blessedly, I grew up in a home where my father was the “head-of-the house.” My mother was (and continues to this day), to carry out the role of the loving, nurturing, supporting, and silent back-bone of the family. For some people, this seemed to be a little dated, and questioned why marriage couldn’t be equal. Nonetheless, this was how I was raised. Surprisingly, it never seemed out of the ordinary to me.
Having‘definitive’ roles for both my parent’s was a way-of-life in our house. My father was very dominate, stern, and firm; while my mother was very passive, docile, doting and submissive. At times, as a youngster coming up, I felt that this was not necessary. I can recall many times I felt that my mother was a ‘weak-minded’ woman, and wondered why she would subject herself to this type of treatment. To me, it was as though my father would treat her like she was ‘inferior’ or of a lower estate than him. Being that I was void of understanding, it was really difficult for me to watch how their relationship unfolded, and progressed. Yet, while it troubled me—my mother was remarkably very happy with her life!
Growing up in a Christian home, my father routinely sat down with us, as a family, and had family bible study. Of course as a kids, you can imagine that we (my siblings and I), usually zoned out and often wondered why we had to be present. I guess you could say “typical” kid behavior. He consistently taught us about marriage from God’s perspective and the proper structure of the family which consisted of: God, the man, the woman, and then the children—in that order specifically. Yes, I believed that God was first priority; I just had a difficult time with the remaining order of the family. I can only attribute that way-of-thinking to my youth and the fact that I was not married. Not realizing the life-lessons he so faithfully worked to instill in us--I couldn’t envision how those same life-lessons would impact my life in years to come.
In today’s society, the words ‘submission’ or ‘submissive’ are viewed as archaic, antiquated, out-of-date, and old fashioned values that no one uses anymore. In my opinion; however, the “new and modernistic” means to a successful marriage screams nothing short of “disaster!” Despite the fact that it’s common knowledge that the odds of having a successful marriage by today’s standards garners a less than 50% chance of survival—when there is are ‘definitive roles’ in a marriage, it certainly helps to maintain a healthy balance, and all the team-players know which moves to make to keep the family running like a well-oiled-machine.
In Essence, we’ve all heard the term “Kill them with kindness.” This, essentially, is almost the same concept. Humility does not boast, humility is kind, humility nurtures and soothes, humility is meekness that is shrouded in amenableness and is docile in it’s approach. Coupled with grace, elegance in it’s purest and rawest form. It is by nature, a manifestation of good will that is thoughtful act of choice.
I’m still in awe of the grace and elegance that my mother has always purveyed. What was once a sign of weakness, in my opinion, has displayed itself as a trait of celebrated inner strength. One for which I strive to attain. It was through her submission to God, my father, and with a heart of humility--she has has taught me the principals of true virtue.
